Team members at NASA's Gerbil Propulsion Laboratory are regrouping after yet another disasterous attempt at gerbil-powered space flight. Their space probe Galactic Voyager veered from its predetermined path and is now drifting aimlessly in space. All onboard, Brown Gerbil, White Gerbil and Brown-and-White Gerbil, are feared dead.
"It’s back to the drawing board," said mission specialist Dale Rogers. "I just don’t get it. The gerbils run in the little plastic ball. It spins. Energy is created. It should be so simple. Maybe we should have used hamsters "
Scientists are checking data on meteors, solar winds and radiation. A flight scheduled for May was scrubbed when one of the gerbilnauts escaped, chewed through wiring, and gave birth to babies in the navigation computers.
This is the 12th mission to end in disaster and the government is pondering pulling the plug on gerbil power research. "It's just not come to fruition like we were told" said Bill Halloway goverment overseer for NASA. "Gerbil powered cars, TVs, trains... The science is sound. We just haven't seen the results."
"We don't know what happened on Mission 12. Some are discussing how the gerbils didn't have food and water," said Dale Rogers. "We're running that data through some of the supercomputers right now. I'm skeptical of that theory myself. It looks more like a blast of gamma rays altered the DNA of the gerbils making them lazy and stupid. That's where I'd put my money."
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